A deep hole is eating my soul
Darkness spreading all over my strength
A hollow feeling inside my body
Oh happiness, tell me what to do…
Where’s the cure to my sickness ?
Where’s the hope I need ?
Where’s the love I once had ?
My soul is slowly dying and so are you
Once I’m great, fine, spectacular. In a way
I relish every night, and I live every day.
I live, I laugh, I write, I sing,
I wonder what the new days will bring.
Then I get home, and I take off my mask.
The day, and almost impossible task,
Is finally over, and so I lie down,
and wait patiently for the day that I die.
I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,
even though I have promises to keep.
I wait, and wonder, and cry some more,
And I ache and burn from my very core.
Then, I’m not alone, and the mask reappears:
Out goes the grief, pain and all of the tears,
As I am a happy person, cheerful all the day.
A world full of rainbow, not one shade of grey.
Of course I’m not okay, I’m not fine,
No matter how much I seem to shine.
I don’t even know why I feel this…
Why my existence is one long, endless abyss.
But it is, and will be, so I cling to life,
As one day I might slip, and end it with a knife.
But, I’m still here, no matter what my dreams might say
And I hope that one day I will actually be okay.